A Reason To Live
by darkwoofe
Summary: Buffy and Anya are stranded in a strange alternate world. Can they survive the horrors of this new world? Can they survive each other?(Femslash) Complete A BuffyAnya story
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer belongs to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. I make no claims, or money from this fic. It was written purely for fun. It contains violence, and will contain scenes of a sexual nature including same sex pairings.   
  
Rating: R   
  
Spoilers: End season five and start season six.  
  
Archive: Please, help yourself, but let me know where it goes.  
  
Site:   
  
Summery: Buffy and Anya are lost together on a strange world.  
  
  
  
  
  
Here she was, the Slayer, running for her life once again. Only this time she was alone.   
  
"I'm tired, Buffy. Can't we stop yet?" came the plaintive cry behind her.   
  
Or almost alone Buffy thought to herself with a sigh. "It's just a little farther Anya" She answered the cause of her woes. Anya and Xander had broken up and Anya wanting to change things back to the way they were had decided to try a Wish Spell from when she had been a demon. Unfortunately for both herself and Buffy the spell had partially worked. How Anya' wishing for Willow's attempt at bringing Buffy back to life to fail was supposed to keep her and Xander together Buffy still wasn't sure.  
  
And now because of Anya being double-crossed, Buffy who should've been dead, and Anya found themselves transported to this strange world where the Slayer hadn't been bought back and the city of Sunnydale was overrun with demons of every type. But for Buffy that wasn't the scariest part. The scariest thing was something she had so far managed to keep from Anya and back where they were still alive all her other friends as well. It was that she couldn't make herself care. After being pulled out of heaven, she was finding it hard for things that happened here to matter to her.   
  
The only reason they had survived the week they had been in this new world was because Buffy's body had been running on autopilot. When the monsters attacked she just let her body do what it had been trained to do.   
  
When they had arrived, it hadn't taken long for the two of them to find trouble as the necklace trapping them in this Wishverse was immediately taken from Anya by the very large red demon Anya had made her deal to restore it's power with as Buffy had been fighting off a demon attack timed to keep her busy. Buffy had finished off the last demon just in time to save Anya from a fatal blow by the demon. Having what he wanted the demon had casually brushed aside the slayer and flew off. They had soon learned that the demon ruled this world and shortly after, the two had found themselves being hunted by every demon in the city. It was Anya's mention of needing a fortress that reminded Buffy of the Initiative's complex under UC Sunnydale which is what they had been calling home for the past week and where they were headed now after a food run.   
  
And as they finally made it to the tunnels leading into the complex Buffy once again asked herself, Why? Why do I bother fighting or going out for food? But a sound behind her gave her the answer as she turned and found Anya collapsed out of exhaustion just inside the complex. There was an innocence to the girl that demanded to be protected. And Buffy could no more deny that call than she could deny a cry for help from her sister. With a sigh she set down the spoils of their raid, collected Anya into her arms and carried the troublesome girl to their room.   
  
  
  
  
  
Anya had absolutely refused to sleep alone in the place that had spawned Adam. And having learned a little discretion she didn't even mention (yuck) Riley. So she and Buffy had been sharing a room since Buffy had force an opening into the secret military base.  
  
She awakened the morning after one of their rare exits to retrieve food, to the smell of eggs and bacon. She warily opened her eyes to the sight of Buffy waving breakfast under her nose. She couldn't help the glowing smile that appeared on her face at the sight of Buffy offering her breakfast in bed or the thought that followed. She's bringing me breakfast in bed and we haven't even had sex. She thought giddily.  
  
The smile faded as she remembered where they were and the wish she had made to bring them here. I can't believe I wished she were still dead. She took the tray and started eating, so deep in thought that she never noticed the slightly hurt look on Buffy's face as she neglected to thank the slayer or even say good morning.   
  
The night she and Xander had broken up had started the same as most other nights at his apartment, with sex. And it was during the sex that Anya had made her mistake. She was thinking about how good it felt to have Buffy back and slowly that had changed to a fantasy she had often had since the blonde's death and resurrection.   
  
  
  
**Anya was surrounded by vicious bunnies. They covered the floor of the Magic Box with her trapped in a section that was getting smaller every second. And just as they are about touch her, like magic Buffy was there kicking the voracious beasts away.  
  
Anya ran to Buffy hugging her and coving her face in small kisses. "Thank you, Buffy. You save my life" She gasped out. Then she captured those lips with hers sliding her tongue over Buffy's and deepening the kiss. Buffy greedily returns the kiss, mouths crushing together in a furious hunger that would no longer be denied.   
  
And suddenly they were naked in a soft bed. Buffy sliding her hand over Anya's breast, kneading it and pinching the nipple. Anya gasped and moaned with the need for more.  
  
"Mmm, Buffy" she called.   
  
Encouraged, Buffy slipped a hand between Anya's legs and started to gently fondle the lips of her vagina. Ever so slowly Buffy slid her fingers into Anya as her other hand continued to play with her breast, her lips only leaving Anya's for that much needed air. Anya could feel the pressure building, rising, until finally Buffy's fingers found her clit "Oooh, Buffy!" she came with a shout. She lay on the bed with her eyes closed, gasping, panting, a smile of complete satisfaction on her face.  
  
She slowly opened her eyes…  
  
And was hit by what had happened as she saw the look on Xander's face. She didn't know what that look was called, but deep inside her she had known that she had lost Xander forever**  
  
  
  
After that she had felt the need to place the blame for this on someone else, and her confused feelings about Buffy made her the perfect target. But after a week trapped in this Wishverse with Buffy, she found herself unable to continue to blame the slayer who had done nothing. Looking inside herself, Anya could see that she had always been attracted to the slayer, and just before she had died Anya had actually started to have feelings other than lust for Buffy. She had just planned on keeping it to herself and staying in her nice safe relationship with Xander.   
  
Now in the hope that Buffy could fix things she had been forced to tell the Slayer that she had wished she were still dead (although she hadn't told her why) and ruining any chance of a relationship. 


	2. Chapter 2

Part II  
  
  
  
Yet another of their…disagreements, Buffy thought. In another day it would be their third week of being stuck in this wishverse. And if Buffy were very careful and very lucky it would be the last. Constant searching, vigilance, and a few painful reminders to the inhabitants of this world that whatever else had changed, she was still the slayer had finally paid off. She had found out that the demon that had stolen Anya's necklace was using the ruined Sunnydale hospital as it's lair.   
  
She had found that out last week and had made sure not to mention it to her companion. Every night since she had waited until she was sure Anya was asleep and had snuck out to case the place. She hadn't felt good about keeping it a secret as she and Anya had grown close over the last few weeks, but she had known the other girl would have insisted on going with her which would only have slowed her down.   
  
But now as she told her the good news (that she had found where the demon keep the necklace and she had a plan to retrieve it) she could see that Anya had no intentions of letting Buffy out of her sight anytime soon. Oddly enough her argument wasn't the selfish one Buffy had half expected.  
  
"How do you know it's not a trap, Buffy?" she argued. "Thatoos is not a nice demon and if he captures you you'll wish my spell had worked right!" she finished angrily.   
  
Buffy's temper rose at the reminder of what she had lost and despite a promise to herself to be more patient with the ex-demon she found herself arguing back.  
  
"And since when have you cared for anyone other than yourself, Anya?" she asked hotly. "The only reason we're here is because of your stupid wish anyway! Look at the bright side," she finished bitterly "If I don't come back at least you'll finally have your damn wish!" And might have mine she added silently. Although lately, even in the midst of all the chaos of this world she had started to take small joys in living again, and as she remembered them now, ** an innocent disagreement turned into a pillow fight, teaching Anya to cook the few things she knew how to cook without burning and laughing at both their failed attempts at new dishes, and perhaps best of all the feeling of joy that waking to the feel of a tight embrace and warm breath on the back of her neck brought her** she realized something that she had ignored about these stolen moments when she didn't long to return to the peaceful bliss she had been snatched from. All these moments had one focus…Anya.   
  
Over the last three weeks Anya had become first her friend and now she realized she was becoming something more. Oh god, I can't be falling for her! Can I? Of course that would explain why, when Anya had first told her the wish she had made it hadn't bothered her in the least, but now all of a sudden the thought of Anya wanting her dead felt like the most painful thing she had ever felt.  
  
  
  
  
  
Anya looked down in misery at Buffy outburst. She's right she thought to herself. If I had taken responsibility for my mouth instead of blaming her for it she be home and more importantly safe right now. She told herself.   
  
She glanced up just in time to catch a look of dismay and then intense pain on Buffy's face just as she turned away. But before she could try to offer comfort the blonde spoke.  
  
"I'm sorry, Anya. I shouldn't have said that and I really don't mean it" She turned and looked the other girl in the eyes her own holding sorrow and pain. "I don't know how wishing I were dead was supposed to keep you and Xander together, but you did what you thought you had to do. And to be honest, sometimes I find myself making the same wish" she glanced away as she added the last.  
  
Anya's heart constricted painfully in her chest and she knew that there was no way she could allow Buffy to continue to think she desired her death.  
  
"Buffy…" she started hesitantly, and went on to tell the slayer what had lead to her break up with Xander. Expecting the worse, she was pleasantly surprised when Buffy settled on the bed beside her and enfolded her in a tight embrace.   
  
"I'll get the necklace come back here and destroy it. And when we're home I think you and I should talk" and she gently tilted Anya's face toward her own and placed a warm loving kiss on the shocked girl's lips. Her eyes closed as she lost herself in this dream become reality becoming so lost she never knew when the kiss ended. When Anya opened her eyes again Buffy was gone.  
  
  
  
To be continued… 


	3. Chapter 3

Part 3  
  
  
  
Buffy ran quickly through the cemetery for once not being chased by anything. While her plan to retrieve the necklace hadn't gone according to plan she never the less clutched the prize in her hand. Her haste was because of a burning need to see the person she had left behind. Anya had to be frantic by now. Plus the sooner she got back the sooner they could leave this twisted version of home and return to the real thing. As she raced along she realized that for the first time in far too long she was…happy.  
  
She slowed her pace as she approached the entrance to her home of the last few weeks and cautiously entered. Feeling nothing was wrong and her slayer senses assuring her that the only occupant was an anxious ex-demon she rushed down the entrance happy to be back with her companion for this strange escapade. She was so excited at the prospect of returning that she never noticed the blunt object swung at her head until it made contact.  
  
"I'm so sorry!" cried Anya looking down at the wincing slayer on the floor. "You took longer than you said and I got scared and then I heard the noise coming down the tunnel…and what was that all about anyway?" she babbled. "You never make that much noise!" she added indignantly.  
  
Buffy looked up sheepishly a grin replacing her pained look. She reached over and took the hand that was stroking the side of her face. "I was happy to be back" she said with a shrug.  
  
"Oh…that's okay then" Anya replied, a faint blush showing on her face. Buffy stared enraptured. She had never seen the usually shameless Anya blush before. Warmth filled her as she realized she was the cause of the reaction.  
  
"Did you get it?" she asked to break the tension.   
  
"Right here." Buffy replied holding up the necklace. "Ready to go home?" she asked.  
  
"Yeah…no wait!" came Anya's response as Buffy lifted it in preparation to smash it. "If we get separated we should meet at your house" She reach down and encircled the Slayer's neck with an arm. "In case it doesn't work right" she explained as she lightly brushed her lips to Buffy's just as the Slayer brought the necklace down with shattering force upon the cold concrete floor.  
  
  
  
  
  
Buffy woke in her bed next to a sleeping Dawn with tear streaks staining her face. She noted that her sister was fully dressed in clothes that when she had last seen her had fit, but that now hung off her too thin frame. And from the smell she had been wearing them for some time now. The bags under the eyes spoke of little if any sleep before now.  
  
This sight would have barely fazed her before her trip to the alternate Sunnydale, but now it tore at her heart that her sister had suffered so much. That she had disappeared so soon after her resurrection must have been torment for Dawn and all of their friends. She moved her hand to the younger girls hair and stroked it lightly   
  
"Dawn…Come on Dawn, time to wake up" she called gently. Her little sister stirred sleepily, grumbling and rubbing at her eyes. Buffy could tell the second that Dawn recognized who had awakened her because for the space of several heartbeats the other girl just froze.   
  
Then suddenly she threw herself into Buffy's arms knocking them both off of the bed. "BUFFY!" she shouted excitedly. "Oh god, Buffy! What happened to you? All we could find was your jacket in the cemetery. We thought something had happened to you while you were patrolling" she told her as tears streamed down her face. "I…I thought…" she was unable to finish the sentence.  
  
"Well…something did happen. I'm sorry Dawn, if I could have found a way to let you know what had happened and that I was okay I would have." Buffy pulled her into another hug. "I came back as soon as I could" she added. She couldn't help but feel guilty for enjoying even a small part of her forced trip.  
  
"I'm glad you're back" Dawn said simply.   
  
"Dawn, are you okay?" came a yawning voice from the hall just a second before the door opened and a concerned Tara looked in. She stared in shock for a moment, and then with a grin ran back down the hall calling for Willow.  
  
  
  
  
  
Anya's return home was far less desirable. Although if the truth were to be told three weeks ago this would have been exactly what she had wanted. She let out a groan as Xander embraced her while still asleep in that a gesture she had once made her feel safe and secure, but now only made her realize how much she missed waking in the comfortable arms of Buffy. Sure the demons were bad, and they had to scavenge food and there was the issue of the smell that had draped over the place, but that wishverse definitely had its good points.  
  
Distracted by the turn her thoughts had taken, she didn't notice when Xander's eyes open or the brief looks of recognition, shock, and finally joy that crossed his face.  
  
  
  
Xander dreamed that Anya had returned to him. When she and Buffy had vanished on the same day he had known that whatever had happened that they were together and if Buffy had any say in it they would be back someday. In dreams that day had arrived. Anya had shown up at his door and wanted him back. And as always he wanted her. The dream had shifted and they had found themselves in his bedroom where they had made love and now lay cuddled together.  
  
But now came the part he hated. It was time to wake up and he knew that with consciousness that the dream would fade as it always did. Only the feel of her skin on his arms didn't fade. The smell of her hair was still with him. And as he opened his eyes her angelic face, lost in thought, was right next to his.  
  
And as she finally became aware of his attention he said what he had wanted to say since the second she had walked out of his door. "Anya, I love you so much…please don't ever leave me again."  
  
  
  
  
  
She just looked at him for a moment. After all the hurtful words of their parting she couldn't believe what she was hearing. She had thought that he never wanted to see her again. And now here he was begging her not to leave him. Tears began to flow from her eyes.  
  
"I…I can't stay, Xander" she told him softly. She got up out of the bed and backed slowly so that she was still facing him.  
  
He let out a sigh, "It Buffy isn't it? Something happened while you two were missing." It was a statement. "Anya, I love you. Isn't that enough? We have something good and special and you want to throw it away for something that will only lead you to pain. She's the Slayer, Anya. Sooner or later something's going to kill her again, and this time there won't be anyone to bring her back. I don't want to see you hurt like that.  
  
Anya made it to the door and reached behind her to turn the knob. "I love you too, Xander, and everything you've said is true. But when I think about life without her…I can't imagine a pain worse than the one I get at even the thought. And as much as I love you, I know that if something happened to you it would hurt, but it wouldn't feel like this. Bye, Xander." And she was out the door headed for a certain Slayer's home. 


End file.
